i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
