Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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