Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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