You can't motorboat a personality
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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