I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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