operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
