if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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