Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
