Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize