I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
