he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
