I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
