i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
