grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
