Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
