I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
