So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
