So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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