The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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