David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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