wrigley field is MILF paradise
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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