I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
