You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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