also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
