If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
