I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
