i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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