Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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