i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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