I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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