so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
