It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
