omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
