I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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