Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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