I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
