I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
And then he peed in my hair
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