Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
