you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
