I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
