yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
