First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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