have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
