white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
