Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
