it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
