i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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