My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
