I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
this will be a night to untag.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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