my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
